


Dream

by kirschtrash



Series: JeanMarco Week [7]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Day 7: Dream, Dreaming, Feels, Fluff and Angst, Hope, JeanMarco Week, Late submission, M/M, Oops, POV Jean Kirstein, Stars, jeanmarco, marco bott - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-27
Updated: 2014-10-27
Packaged: 2018-02-22 20:49:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2521334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kirschtrash/pseuds/kirschtrash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"It was just another day, when I had to see my young, new cadets die at the hands of the Titans.</p><p>And it was another day when I was pressed with guilt, grief and suffering, like heavy weights over my shoulders. I felt I couldn't carry it anymore.</p><p>I felt as if hope had finally left me; until I met Marco Bodt in my dream."</p><p>Jeanmarco Week, Day 7: Dream.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dream

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, its submitted late, but do accept it anyway, because I worked hard for the feels and angst in this one. Enjoy! c:

Just another day.

Just another day of scouting outside the walls.

Just another day of killing Titans uselessly.

Just another day of our young cadets, dying and getting killed in vain.

Just another goddamn day filled will suffering, defeat, and loss coupled with our regular grief.

I trudge in to my cabin, my feet dragging across the wooden floor, near till the edge of my bed. I sit, and take of my boots, slowly, one after the other.

After I took both shoes off, I rest my head against the pillow, not caring to change my clothes first because I'm too tired, and frankly, because no one could fucking stop me.

At least, not now anyway...

With a  _huff_ , I turn to my left. My bed was against the wall with the only window, and outside it, I could see stars, shining like diamonds on a black canvas.

The clusters of stars remind me of someone... He always loved star-gazing on the rooftops, late at night...

I rub my face.

Its been ages since I last thought of him. It wasn't as if I had forgotten him; no, that could never happen. Maybe the real reason is this:

Maybe I have been through so much pain and suffering, that I have gone numb, and can't feel anything anymore. I don't feel human anymore.

With that last thought, along with his brave face, I fall in to an immediate slumber.

 

* * *

 

I open my eyes, and I see that I'm surrounded by a field of tall grass, grazing till my knees. But what was more fascinating was the millions if tiny dew drops on each blade of grass. Moreover, they kept on changing colors; from white, to green, to blue, and then back to white. They seemed to move with the soft breeze that blew over my, making them look as if they were alive.

I look up, and see billions of stars, all clustered, all shining over me, watching me, all in front of a dark blue back-drop. They were so many, and they were so close to me, that I could have reached a hand up above, and I could have held a cluster of stars.

I look at my clothes, and I see my regular, Survey Corps uniform. I look towards my right, and my eyes grow wide. There, I saw a tall man, with cropped black hair, his broad back facing me. Hung on his shoulders, was the Survey Corps cape, fluttering behind him. And when he turned towards me, his warm smile, his kind eyes, all that I was longing for over four years; he was finally there.

It was him;  _Marco_.

Without thinking twice, I ran towards him. In a second I was halfway towards him. His arms spread, welcoming me, and I ran headfirst in to him. After so long, I was finally home.

Maybe I was crying, maybe I wasn't, I don't even fucking know; all that mattered was that he actually felt alive, as I could feel his hear-beat under my chest, his breath tickling my ear, his laugh thrumming within me. It was so much better than the corpse that I had to carry.

I hold him by his shoulders, and just stare at him longingly. Four years is too fucking long, and I know he felt the same; I could tell. He looked at me in the same way, his warm eyes sweeping across me, his soft but slightly sad smile on his lips... I wanted to memorize him all over again.

The whole place was so much better than the Hell I lived in, where I had to hear my cadets cry for help, plead for mercy, and scream in fear. And mostly at times when I can't even help them. That cruel world was too horrible. I'd rather live here by Marco's side, whatever the circumstances.

"That isn't a good idea, Jean..." Marco said softly, as if he had read my mind.

My head snapped at him. I decide to defend myself: "But you don't even know how horrible it is. Everyday I have to see someone die, someone get eaten, someone get killed on my watch... It's too much. I can't take it anymore! I'm useless anyway. I'd rather stay here and be with you." I say ti with such honesty, and with such desperation, that there is no controlling the tears that pool in my eyes.

"But that isn't the Jean I know of; he would have never given up..." Marco reasoned.

"WELL WHAT ELSE AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?!" I scream, my voice cutting through the silence of the night. I pant, and there is no control over the tears that fall.  _I was done._

I continue: "I can't take it anymore! I'm doing no good to Humanity. Every day I hope that maybe it's gonna work out, somehow. But I'm no miracle worker that's gonna bring a revolution to this world. So why can't I be with you after four fucking years when I finally have the fucking chance!?"

I pant as if I ran a 100 meters. Tears still fall uncontrollably, all hope inside of me seeping out of my body, in to the ground.

Marco extends a hand, wiping my tears away. I slightly lean in to the touch.

He then says, "I know what you've been through, I know. But you can't give up now. You will bring the change we need, you will. I can see it. You're gonna have your bad times, but you'll see how life will look up at you soon."

I'm at a loss of words. I had given up.

"Besides, you still have to see the world beyond what you've already seen..." he says, while looking up at the stars.

I trail at his gaze to look at the stars, and find that they were moving, from right to left; the look to majestic, as if the world underneath us was moving. Or maybe the sky. The scene gave me some peace.

"How is it out there?" I ask, finally finding my voice.

"It's worth it." Marco answers, whispering. He looked at me, a hopeful look to his eyes, and I knew my time was up.

With his hopeful eyes, the laughter lines around them, and the brave smile he gave me, everything blacked out.

 

* * *

 

 

I open my eyes again, to stare at the wooden roof of my cabin. I sit up, and I'm surprised to feel tears on my cheeks. And funnily, I wasn't sad at the moment; no, I felt strangely at peace.

Subconsciously, I walk outside, introducing myself to the cold night air. And I gasp as I look at the sky; it was the same as I saw in my dream, with the same stars shimmering down at me.

I had a ladder leaning against the cabin. I made it stand straight, and I climbed over it, and climbed over the roof.

I situated myself over the edge of the roof, legs dangling over the edge, as I stared at the stars. Somehow, it gave me peace.

I knew Marco loved star-gazing too.

 

* * *

 

 

After that, I went through some more tough times. Possibly tougher than the rest.

But I held on to my dream; I knew Marco meant what he said. I decided to wait for life to look up to me.

I decided to never give up, until my breath gave out.

I got the hope needed, through my dream; through him.

**Author's Note:**

> This week was the best week, filled with angst and fluff and feels of the terrific ship: JEANMARCO! Thank you guys for reading my works *hugs you all*
> 
> Now I'm gonna work on "The Silent Ones", so watch out for that! till, then, you can keep updated on me through my blog! (You can find the link on other stories I posted c: )


End file.
